What do we do when we’re overwhelmed?

Listen, if any year is overwhelming, 2020 is overwhelming. Right? In all the ways you could think of, and some ways you couldn’t. It’s overwhelming on steroids.

And if the truth be told, many of us were already overwhelmed at the starting gate. It’s a fast-paced world we live in with blurred edges and everything forever running into everything else. We were out of breath before we got sucker punched with pandemic and quarantine, masks and travel restrictions and virtual schooling. It’s all just a LOT.

You could go lots of places to get ideas, many no doubt more professional and polished than what I have to offer. But hey, I’m here to help (I’m an Enneagram 2, after all), and in the immortal words of Paul: what I have, I give to you.

Action steps can be small and simple, and simple can be powerful. Committing to just one or two changes, and sticking with them, can make a big difference.

Without further ado:

*Embrace “benevolent detachment.” This is a biggie and a hard one for me (and all of us, I think). I’ve written about it before. It’s a John Eldredge concept from his book Get Your Life Back. He says this:

“Jesus models a freedom of heart I think every one of us would love to have. His ability to disengage himself from this world is so alluring… Detachment means getting some healthy distance. Social media overloads our empathy. So I use the word benevolent in referring to this necessary kind of detachment because we are not talking about cynicism or resignation… Jesus invites us into a way of loving where we are genuinely comfortable turning things over to him.”

He’s so right about social media - and phones in general. I’ve found it makes a big difference when I follow Eldredge’s advice, get up every day, and say, “Jesus, I give everyone and everything to you,”… And then keep saying it throughout the day. (The Pause app helps with this too!)

*Carve out time to drink deep from story. We need to get out of our own heads and our own cares, which feel so big but often aren’t. Reading fiction is a fantastic way to helpful check our brains and get a reset by engaging in someone else’s life. Quality TV can have this effect too - though the right doses of this matter a lot in a way that book reading doesn’t! A few great fiction titles that drew me out of cramped over-fretting this year was Peace Like a River and Till We Have Faces. A few TV selections that have done the same are “Call the Midwife” and “The Crown.” What recs do you have for me?

*Exercise early and often. In 2020 I shifted from exercising 3 or 4 times a week, sprinkled throughout seven days, to exercising every weekday morning at a set time before “my day gets underway.” It’s made a surprisingly big impact on my clarity and mental health. And I like that it’s become an automatic habit. Knowing that, and exactly when, I’ll exercise reduces decision-making stress, and it feels great on the weekend not to have to think about exercise at all (unless I want to).

*Commit to switch off your brain at a designated time of evening. I work from home (don’t we all now?), and the segments and tasks of my day bleed into each other. This is bad for decompression and great for overwhelm. I now force myself to let everything go of anything not child-related by dinner. Whatever didn’t get dealt with that day goes on the next day’s docket. It’s been freeing.

*Dock your phone all day on Sunday (or some other day of the week). It really does create an aura of rest and freedom that refreshes in a way I don’t think we can access otherwise.

So those are my top 5 in this season.

How ‘bout we trade and you give me one of yours?

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